Gender, Drugs and Rock’n’Roll Ringtones

Since we’re a blog with a comments system, it’s no surprise that there are people attempting to abuse it to gather more links to their terrible, terrible websites. Naturally we have safeguards in place to prevent such abuse (although sometimes it catches comments from some of you lovely readers – Mr Faltskog’s terrible confession that he disposed of a game I would happily drown kittens for without first offering it to me was held back until I returned to the keyboard). The very handy Akismet (a plug-in for WordPress that we could not live without) also counts the spam it’s stopped, and it’s today that we passed the 1000 spam comment milestone.

So, here’s a brief glimpse into the wild and wacky world of bad advertising.

Scantily-Clad Girlies

Apparently Britney Spears, Jessica Alba, Fergie, Gwen Stefani and Christina Aguilera have all been taking advantage of the technological advances in modern mobile phones. The video recording features, to be precise. If the comments we’re getting are to be believed, they’re not only making videos of themselves in varying states of undress, but also ‘accidentally’ putting them on the web! How could I possibly keep the links for such valuable entertainment from my beloved readers? Clearly I am an awful person for keeping those links to myself and refusing to share them with you.

Jessica Alba, Paris Hilton, Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears and Gwen Stefani, all in one picture!

Or possibly I’m trying to keep this a family website (and not have it rebanned from my sister’s school – hence the clever naughty-word-catcher-dodging title).

Controlled Substances

Apparently the laws of the entire world that control the use of certain chemical concoctions don’t apply if you buy them over the internet. So every single day we’re offered ads for a range of medical products so wide that we’ve never heard of at least ninety percent of them. The most bizarre link? ‘Tramadol dosage for dogs.’ It’s been a while since I had a dog, it’s true, but I don’t think that dog-owning responsibilities have ever encompassed scoring illegal drugs for your canine companion.

Ringtones and Miscellaneous Idiocy

‘I couldn’t understand some parts of this article, but it sounds interesting…‘

Every. Single. Day. Please stop trying to read the articles – if you don’t understand a brief introduction to Mr T’s new reality show, you will never understand them.

‘information

about‘

Oh dear lord. At least use full sentences, however random. This sort of thing just takes up screen space; it doesn’t make anyone more inclined to read it. All you really want is a link to your website so you can try to sell us some dodgy ringtones – why make the entire comment so utterly without value? At least the people trying to sell adult videos are giving us a clue as to what we’re going to be getting. This is just nonsense.

But the final word on insane spam has to go to the lunatic who, in the same comment, tried to advertise both traditional brass floor lamps and ‘Femoral Knee Grinding Polishing Machines’. I don’t know why they thought you folks would be interested in such a thing; perhaps it has an Interface 1 port?